Well, what a few weeks it has been! I feel like I have been inside a front-loader washing machine and every now and again I could wave to the outside, but other than that, I was in darkness, treading water and going around… and around… and around…..!!
At the beginning of June, I made the life-long dream decision to put on a Symposium for women entrepreneurs. It took shape SO QUICKLY and felt so right. You know when you get those feelings of “this is it”! So, I marched on, got the PERFECT venue, organised the ticket sales, started making all the lists. And even though I KNEW that I didn’t know everything that I needed to… I still marched on without asking for help, or finding a team……
Then, within 1 month, my Mum arrived from the UK (to stay with me for a month), as her Mother (my Grandma) laid in a nursing home waiting to die. And then, on a very sad Saturday, she was gone – we were there in the morning hearing her breathe and watching her sleep…. And 3 hours later, she was gone. It was surreal to me.
But, Monday morning, back I got to the task at hand. This is going to be a “SPECTACULAR”. I was a bit run down, I had had a flu that had turned into bronchitis and I had that for about 9 weeks…. And then all the doubts FLEW into my head. I started hearing all the things that people had said to me either recently, or in the past – they all melded into one.
“You can’t do this”. “You haven’t thought things through”.
“I hope you can pull this off” (with a knowing head-tilt and a shrug of the shoulders).
I felt like everyone hated me and the WHOLE WORLD (dramatic!!) was laughing behind my back…. So what did I do….. I marched on. But now, with the doubts in my head and a level of “pushing” exhaustion, I was sinking into overwhelm.
A friend of mine offered to sit with me to get everything out of my head (this is what I can do for others, but it is hard to do it for yourself!) and see where I was at. We sat there talking and going through the practical aspects of running an event this size and she said “What if you moved the date?” – and I LOST it!
“It would let EVERYONE down”. “I would be such a failure.”
“I can hear everyone tutting behind my back”.
“I told you she couldn’t do it”. “I knew this would happen”.
WHAT ON EARTH DO WE DO TO OURSELVES!
I walked away from her with a very rigid head on my shoulders, there is NO WAY that I am giving in, there is NO WAY that I can’t get this done, there is NO WAY that I need help.
So, I settled down; I gave myself a bit of space and time. I started talking to my friends about what was going on for me. I started looking for the right resources to make this the event that I wanted it to be. I made sure to do what I help others do – put the strong foundations in place so that success is built on that.
And ….. TA DA…. The event was moved! I rang the venue and they could do the dates that I wanted over 1 of the busiest weekends on the conference-calendar – FATE.
Once I had made the decision and taken the decisive ACTION towards the better outcome, a weight lifted.
I created a team that is very supportive of the MADNESS of this event (is it going to be lots of fun!).
I have an incredible line-up of speakers that are behind the vision of adding value, experience and knowledge to the audience.
I am TOTALLY reinvigorated for the DREAM. I never lost the vision, but I let my mind get in my way. I made assumptions on what people around me were thinking, and I turned them into a spiral of negative information in my brain to lead to my biggest business failure! NUT-JOB!
So what did I learn and why is this a failure.
I failed to see the signs that I was pushing forward rather than checking in with the progress and process.
I failed to look after myself and see what I was doing to myself.
I failed to realise that I needed a team (AND I KNOW THIS!) and who would be the right people to be on that team.
I failed to involve the people that care about me and instead tried to manage everything myself.
I learned to STOP, reassess, step back (and I will keep re-learning this freakin’ pattern!).
I learned to add in time-for-me – don’t underestimate the value of quiet time for yourself in whatever way is best for you.
I learned that you can have a “team” but they might not be the right people to help you on this project.
I learned that I am tenacious (I can hear you all going – WE KNOW!!), and sometimes that is not the BEST approach when it comes to bashing my head against a brick wall 😉
After (and in the midst of) all that, I created an ebook from all the incredible speakers from The Spectacular (Early Bird tickets are available now!) on how to “Take your business to another level” – and a lot of these tips, I WISH I had listened to for myself. I now have it printed off and on my wall (and you can too 😉 ).
This is a turning point. This is how we (just me??) learn.
This is how we grow.
This is how we reach the next level of business and life.
I can’t wait to see you in February 2016 for The Spectacular – A Business Symposium.