What does GRIEF have to do with Accountability Coaching?

Posted by Trudy in Blog | 19 comments

Trudy and her sister

Well…. Nothing AND EVERYTHING!

On Christmas Eve 2013 my sister died, she was 33 yrs old and had lived her life with Cerebral Palsy.  Which in turn, meant that I had lived my life with a sister who had special needs and who I loved unconditionally – UN-COND-ITIONALLY.  She was my rock when I was feeling down and I made her laugh twice a week on Skype (thank goodness for technology!).

So…. My business….. well, it suffered.  I know that as Entrepreneurs and as women who have responsibilities and capabilities, it is incredibly important to feel…. IMPORTANT, needed, of value.

I know that when you are knocked-off-kilter, it feels overwhelming and head-spinney.  When something extra-ordinary happens, it can give your life meaning, and it can take part of your life’s meaning, away.

That is what happened to me.

Part of my life was devoted to my sister.  To talking to her, to listening to her, to knowing that she was ok.  AND to the commitment to seeing her twice a week.  It was a great routine and it was significant to her and to me.

So when your routine is removed or altered – WHO ARE YOU?

When part of the purpose of your life is removed or altered – WHAT DO YOU DO?

When you are known for “pushing” and “Getting Sh1t Done” – HOW DO YOU GO FORWARD?

It was freakin’ hard.  It has been a 10 month journey.
In some ways it has been epic and in some ways it has been debilitating.

I have had to rebuild myself and my life with a different routine.  And as I started rebuilding, I started working with the MOST AMAZING clients!  They seemed to come out of nowhere.  As they say,

“when the student is ready, the teacher arrives – and when the teacher is ready the student arrives.”

This went both ways for me.  I was the student that needed to listen to all the lessons that my clients were freely giving (it is always great reflection!), and I am the teacher of busting through procrastination and finding your goals, breaking them down and achieving them (with love and kindness!).

So, I have worked, on myself, on self-care, on rebuilding, on finding what is right for me.  It has been an amazing journey of REALISING what I wanted to do – but more importantly, what I was put here to do for others.  And with my sister gone, came the realisation that she was making space for me to offer more.  That may sound a bit cray-cray, but it gives me comfort.

So from the feedback from clients and the WANT to be able to help more people, I have created the

Goal.Action.Follow-Through 8 Week Intensive

which starts on the 20th October.

Click Me

Part of the reason for me doing this, is that through the grief and the pain of losing my sister, what I DID realise is that my talent and gift is connection, I am a facilitator that can work out what you can’t do or don’t want to do and take it away from you to find a resource that does want to do it.  I found this out by doing these things for myself….. I had to literally “coach” myself forward, out of total overwhelm and towards being able to come back to being around people, creating connection and getting back to helping people AS WELL AS helping myself.  I had to find the resources that could help me, in my business and in my life – to support, motivate and encourage me (and was told that this is what I had done for others through my business).  It was an incredibly humbling, exciting and life-affirming period.

The Lessons that I learned

Jody and Trudy

What my sister taught me is:

  1. Connection is the most important thing for any aspect of your life.  Family, Partners, Friends, Business Friends, Colleagues and Acquaintances.
  2. Laughter is the best medicine – and we laughed all the time.  Laughter is also a great deflector and mask for what could be going on (poor Robin Williams, that knocked the wind out of my sails too!)
  3. Do what you can – she was so restricted in what she could do in her world, but what she could do, she did – I am incredibly proud of everything that she gave.

So if you live your life by those 3 principles – Connection – Laughter – Do what you can, and you need some help, encouragement, motivation, support to move out of your own way and achieve what you were put here to achieve, contact me to see if we can work together.

It is October!!

What if you ended 2014 with a grin on your face and the feeling that you had done everything that you could for this year??  Contact me if you would like a chat to see if I can help you.

Click here to get started

Don't leave it till next year - Take Action Now!

Comments (19)
  1. Jane says:

    Trudy, what a heartfelt story .. you are a marvel and an inspiration! Thank you for sharing. xx

  2. Maria says:

    Hello Trudy – what an inspirational story – I had goosebumps the whole way through. Just love you and want you to know how inspiring you and all that you do. You have magical talents and skills – entrepreneurial flare and gifted intuition. Thank you for being you and sharing your story. With love, Maria xx

  3. Christina says:

    Beautiful, Trudy.

  4. Angela says:

    Trudy, this is a beautiful blog and shows the inner essence of who you are. Sometimes it can be hard when we are laughing on the outside when we are crying on the inside but you are one person who always has fun in everything that you do. Thank you for sharing your story. Infinite Love and Gratitude. Angela

  5. Jess | Hello Wordsmith says:

    What a way to enter the world of blogging — beautiful story, wise words, and an abundance of love. xx

  6. Caroline Cain says:

    Fabulous post Trudy, heartfelt and such a testament to who you are and the way you show up in the world. x

  7. Samantha says:

    Oh Trudy – wonderful post and very moving. Losing a sibling is a crazy exhausting time and it changes everything…..I’m going to think of you and your sister when I look at the daisys in my garden tonight. x

  8. Amanda says:

    So beautiful Trudy … and so very true. Our life’s teachers and lessons can come in extrodinary and sometimes very painful ways. You are a truly amazing person … and I can imagine your sister was just the same. I absolutely believed she paved the way for you to stretch and dig deep into your soul and come out the other side … with even more of your DIVINE gifts to share. Rock on Goddess …. Much love to you. xxx

  9. Gemma Regalado says:

    Wow, this was SUCH a frickin’ great post – thank you for sharing your story, Trudy. YOU ARE ONE TALENTED LADY x

  10. Sylvia Chierchia says:

    This is such a beautiful and heartfelt post Trudy. Your sister sounds like a beautiful soul and I’m sure you miss her terribly. Thank you for sharing this story with us.

  11. Michelle Marie McGrath says:

    Well if this is the quality of the blogposts then look out! You certainly have the beautiful gift of connection. What a gorgeous, heartfelt start to your blogging. Very touching and poignant. Lots of love xxx

  12. Charlotte says:

    I was really touched by this blog post. And the three lessons were a great reminder for me. So thank you both, Trudy and Trudy’s sister. I am sure she was amazing, as I know you are. You radiate such light, in person and through your words. Thank you for sharing.

  13. Moana Robinson says:

    Wow this is an amazing post. So real, raw and honest. I am sure it resonates with a lot of people as it did for me. Keep doing these as what you are doing is perfect …

  14. Dani Van de Velde says:

    Trude – thank you for such insight. You have distilled the essence out of your grieving process in a way that we can all benefit – thank you! The big three of connection, laughter and doing whatever it is that we can (in that moment) have become paramount to me recently too. Thank you for the reminder. MORE PLEASE!! X

  15. Claire says:

    Aaah Trudy, beautiful meaningful first blog, Congratulations! You must miss your sister something awful, I am sure she is proud of your strength and tenacity. Tons of love, xxxxx

  16. Katia says:

    Trudy thank u for sharing. Your story completely resonated with me, having gone through the debilitating grief at the loss of my father followed by my son being diagnosed with CP. It’s truly an incredible journey this life, and it’s totally up to you on how you learn and accept its lessons. Gratitude

  17. Samantha says:

    Beautiful blog post, thank you for sharing.

  18. Kimmy says:

    You’ve brought tears to my eyes Trudy. You should be so proud of what you’re doing for other people. I think you’ve really found your purpose. You are an amazing human being. All my love. Xxx

  19. Marsha from YesYesMarsha.com says:

    Beautiful story. I’m so sorry about your sis, but think it’s wonderful that you’re honouring her by both living her values and teaching them to us. Thank you.

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